Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Making Space for Romance, Family Relationships, and Friendships

Hello, everyone!
I'm Rita Gehman, and I'm here with Intuitive Woods.
I'm relaxing on my black leather couch right now. I'm trying to get my black kitty to get up here and join me.
Come on, Oakley!
He may or may not come.
You know how cats are.
Anyway, today's video is about when you make room in your life for romance and for parental love and for child love and for family connections, your siblings, all the different... your friends, your community.
I have a long history,  family history, of my family not making room for the things in their life, they have a contracting energy rather than expanding energy, and so when I'm looking at things like relationships, I have to understand that I have an environmental predisposition to not really allow new things into my life, not really allow new people into my life.
And that is such a dangerous things, guys.
Oh my god, that is such a dangerous thing.
Because life itself wants to grow. Life itself wants to get bigger and stronger and better and it just wants to expand and become fuller, and....
I guess the kitty's not coming.
Anyway, life wants to expand and grow. That is the nature of life.
But, if somebody has lack of comfort with themselves, lack of comfort with the world, then they tend to have contracting energy.
They tend to have energy that just (contracting sounds), contracts in on itself, rather than being expansive and warm and growing and learning and expanding and filling up the space, and then dashing that spaces to pieces, and filling up the next space, the bigger space.
That is the nature of humankind. The nature of human kind is to be expansive.
So, when you have contracting energy, it's anti-life. It's a little anti-life.
So, you should know that it's okay to rest.
It's okay to take time for yourself and be warm and good and rest, and it's okay to take a long rest, too.
It's good for you to take long and regular breaks, long and regular rest breaks.
This is particularly true for women, but it's really true for men, too.
We all need those rests.
I think rest and sleep are under valued in today's Western society.
It doesn't seem to be undervalued in Eastern society, but it's under valued in Western society.
I really encourage you to just (deep sigh of relief) take a deep breath.
FEEL the Universe coming inside of you and expanding you and being bigger and bolder and better than it is.
The cat is now over there on the table, and I'm tempted to go bother him.
Maybe in a little while.
So, when the Universe is filled with all of these possibilities, it makes me know that, as a human being, I don't have the capabilities for every single possibility out there.
It's not that I don't have the time or the ability.
I do have both! We all have both!
But, my nature, it wants to control and be precise about what it's doing, and it wants to kind contract in on itself a little bit.
But, the thing is, I get better when I grow, and I grow when I learn new things, and I learn new things when I expose myself to new things and I don't just stick to a rigid schedule.
Now, I do need a rigid schedule, because I have a very watery nature, so I need to compartmentalize myself when it comes to my schedule, my time, but just doing that is not the solution.
I have to be able to expand on everything that I'm doing.
Like, today I'm making a thirty minute video and normally I make shorter videos and I want to start making longer videos, and I need to allow myself to expand into that and allow myself to have something that good, that wonderful.
When we're all looking at things like time and love and relationships, we tend to want to put relationships and other people into these compartmentalized spaces.
And the truth is, you can really only do that if you only have quality time.
For people who see each other day in and day out, you need to have enough time to spend around each other, or you need to have really specific times of the day when you sit down and have quality time together.
You can actually schedule people in your life if the times that you spend with them are quality time, they're pure unadulterated quality time.
A lot of us don't have the discipline to pull that off, though.
I myself sometimes just like hanging out with someone.
And I don't necessarily want it to be this ultra high vibration, high energy quality time experience all the time, which means that I need to make up for that by spending more time with them.
It may be cheaper time, but it's more time.
Something's got to give.
I can't just cut people out of my life.
That is a habit that I, personally, tend to have is that I have a habit of cutting people out of my life who are not convenient for me.
And it's a habit that I've been working on rectifying for the past five years.
I've been working on shifting that to building quality relationships and sometimes having a break from them and sometimes just expanding myself to where I can hold more, I can create more spiritual space for people.
So, this video is about creating the space for the people and the relationships in your life that you want to have.
If you want to have love, time, if you want to have romance in your life, you've got to have time for romance in your life.
You've got to have space for romance in your life.
And I don't mean creating the time and space when some beautiful woman shows up or when some amazing guy shows up.
No. No, I don't mean that.
There's something called The Vacuum Law of Prosperity.
And this is something that was really taught by Bob Proctor back in the day, but Bob Proctor is not the originator of this idea, even he learned it from his mentors.
The Vacuum Law of Prosperity involves if you get rid of something, you'll be able to replace it with something more later on.
In other words, the Universe hates a vacuum and it will fill it up with something much closer or something exactly like what you want.
So, for example, if you hate the curtains in your house, get rid of the curtains that you have.
If you want new and better curtains, don't worry about it if you can't afford curtains or you don't know where you're going to get curtains or you have no ability to go out and shop for curtains.
Don't worry about that.
If you want to have new and better curtains in the house, get rid of the curtains that you have!
Because, believe me, the Universe hates a vacuum and you're going to get tired of living in a fish bowl, and those energies are going to combine and it's going to create these sparks, these magical sparks, and it's going to come up with new curtains that you LOVE having!
But, it's really difficult to attract new and better curtains into your life if you don't get rid of the ones that you have.
You have to be willing to get rid of the ones that you have first.
That's the same thing with relationships.
If you have bad, negative relationships in your life and you want a more positive, fulfilling, amazing, so vibrant, rich, makes you feel so strong, like invincible..... if you want relationships like that in your life, you have to get rid of relationships in your life that are soul sucking, that are dragging you down, and that make you feel shitty and bad and like you need to sink more of your energy into them.
Relationships should be a dual benefit situation, where you give somebody else all this amazing energy and you make them feel really great and they do the same thing to you, and yet neither one of you are really losing energy on the deal.
Both of you are gaining Double Energy.
It's the Law of Exponential Increase.
But, there are people in your life... they may be the inspiration for other people, but they're not the inspiration for you.
For you just to interact with them, it requires for you to just sink all of your energy and all of your time and all of your time into just this one person, just to be able to have basic, steady interaction with them.
Things that between you and other people come very naturally and very easily, but between you and this one person, it's like (growls) I've got to sink all this energy just to have even a little bit of normal conversation with them.
And they may be inspirational for other people, so don't think that you're leaving them in the dust or anything, because you're not!
But, they're not inspirational for you.
You need to be able to let those people go in order to create new relationships in your life.
The truth is, some of us are able to have many, many, many close and good friends, some of us are able to have many, many light and casual friends, some of us only have a few, medium number of friends, and some of us really only get along with five people in the world, and if we get rid of one person, we might replace them with another, but we don't really ever have more than five friends in the world.
Whatever kind of person you are, however many people you attract into your life, that's going to tend to be the pattern that you stay on for the rest of your life.
Depending upon how deep you like to go with your relationships with people and depending upon how many people you enjoy having in your life, that number is going to pretty much stay the same.
So, if you want to have higher quality and better relationships in your life, you have to be able to and willing to get rid of some of the relationships that you have now.
Now, you don't have to get rid of everybody.
But, you should kind of sit down and think about, Hmm, is there anybody who I think is just not up to snuff? Is there anybody in my life who I'd kind of like to just get rid of?
If there are people in your life who you really want to just get rid of, you really don't want to have in your life, My God, make those people go out of your life First!
Get rid of those people first.
And you don't have to push them away.
Now if you want to push them away, go ahead and do it.
Sometimes, it's helpful to just allow them to float out of your life.
Sometimes, it's not a matter of saying "Ah! I'm not going to talk to you anymore! I don't want to be friends with you anymore!"
Sometimes, it's a matter of "Oh! I'm just going to allow this person to leave my life. They're no longer in line with my energy. I'm going to allow them to just drift away."
So, whatever method...
I tend to be the kind of person who cuts people off and just karate chops them out of my life or I am the kind of person who specifically tells them, "I don't want you in my life because I don't like you, anymore. Go away."
That's the kind of person I am.
There have been times when I needed to use the Allowance, the Allowing That Person to Leave organically, naturally, and smoothly.
And there were times when I needed to use that tool, and there are people who feel better only using that tool.
Just know that there are many ways of getting rid of people.
There are many different methods and techniques of allowing people to leave your life so that you can replace them with higher quality and newer and better and stronger people, better relationships, interactions with people that make you feel so powerful and good and strong and vibrant and new again.
So, it's important to always have those possibilities in your life.
Just know that, it's not that you're lacking time and it's not that you're lacking the resources or ability to fill your life with new and better people, it tends to be the fact that everyone tends to have only a certain number of people that they keep in their world.
Some people have a large number, some people have a medium number, and some people only have one or two or five people in their life that they want to be close to.
Well, that's fine.
Just know that that number tends to stay the same, no matter what, for long periods of time in your life.
So, if you're looking to have new and better relationships, you have to be willing to and able to allow some of your current relationships to kind of drift away from you, or to just go ahead and forcefully push them out of your life.
You have to be able to do it and you have to be willing to do it.
Now, if you're not financially able to do it, if you're not emotionally able to do it, I understand.
That's understandable, that's completely understandable.
But, if you're in a position where you really have the resources and the ability to get rid of them, and you know that this is not the kind of person I want. I want higher quality or more meaningful people in my life... you're going to have to get rid of those people in order to make The Vacuum Law of Prosperity work for you and bring in new people, because it's not very likely that you're going to grow the number of people that you know and interact with.
That is not very likely.
It is more likely that you're going to just replace the people that you have or some of the people that you have.
So, when we're looking at romance, you have to allow room and space for romance.
Now, you may not be in the position where you have to get rid of old romance in order to make room for new romance.
You may not have had romance in your life.
You may have to get rid of a habit of casual, sexual behavior in order to make room for romance in that state.
You might have to do that.
But, if you've never had a boyfriend or girlfriend, if you've never been in a long-term relationship, you may be in the position where making room....
Or maybe you've been divorced for several years and you just haven't had a significant other. Maybe you're not close with your children, and you don't have any best friends of the opposite sex, and so you don't really have somebody who's kind of standing in for the need that you have for a romantic partner.
Now, if you do have one of those things. If you either have grown children that you're close with, or you have a best friend of the opposite sex that you love having deep, meaningful conversations with or you have a lot of interaction and time with, well then they may be standing in for your romantic partner, and you may have to allow those people to go in order to make room for your romantic partner.
But, if you're not in any of those situations, you may need to just allow space to be taken up in your life.
If you go out and get a romantic partner and you're enjoying them and everything, you may need to understand that having them in your life means that they will take up time and they will take up space in your world, and you need to allow that to happen.
If you don't have anybody else who you're moving out of your life or that you're becoming more distant with in order to bring in your romantic partner, if that's not the case with you, if you're just now wanting to bring in a romantic partner, you may be in a position where bringing them in themselves involves allowing that person to take up more of your time and allowing them to take up more of your space.
And guys, that's going to be kind of scary.
If you haven't had somebody romantically in your life for a long time, and you're not replacing other people with them, then you may be kind of used to being alone, you may be used to having more contracting energy or more limited energy than you currently have.
Relationships are difficult, especially in the beginning.
Now, they don't tend to always be difficult after a certain number of years, but in the beginning, when people are just learning to figure each other out and learning each other's patterns of growth and how soon you can expect that person to grow into a new level of awareness and self development, things like that, that are tricky, that are complicated.
There needs to be a TON of communication, and hey, I'm not the biggest person on communication when it comes to talking to people. But, in recent years, I've become that kind of person, because I've had to be!
For me to have the relationships in my life that I want to have, I've had to all of a sudden become WAY more vocal than I ever was before!
So, that was definitely a factor for me. That was something that I needed to always be aware of within myself that I don't naturally have the inclination to be really vocal and really expressive, conversationally.
And I need to practice it like I would practice the piano, over and over and over again.
I need to get to where I not only get really good at it, but it's very comfortable for me.
Because things that I'm comfortable at, yeah, we're all going to tend to do those things more often.
So, the world around is so amazing and so full of possibilities of travel and homes and people and new experiences, but you have to be willing to allow the Vacuum Law of Prosperity to work for you.
You have to allow The Vacuum Law of Prosperity to work for you.
You have to be willing to sometimes replace what you currently have with the new stuff, and that's a little scary, because especially if you really need somebody in your life, if you're the kind of person who is a little bit codependent, a little bit needy, That's Okay!
That's okay to be that kind of person. But, if you're that kind of person, getting rid of a romantic partner or somebody else in your life who you normally emotionally rely upon, getting rid of that person, not having anybody else in your world to take their place yet, that's kind of a scary thought right there!
If you really want that new home and you want to have the ability to have a new home, getting rid of your current home that you're kind of comfortable in, you feel at ease in, and you kind of don't want to change that much, oh, getting rid of your current home can be SOOO scary.
The same thing applies with traveling experiences. If you're used to traveling around your state or your country or your area, and you're not used to traveling outside of your country and you're not used to traveling to the other side of the world, or something like that, oh man! Replacing your current location with a new location, that's Scary as Hell!
I mean, speaking as someone who has experienced a lot of culture shock in her life, culture shock is a scary ass thing!
It is Scary as FUCK!
And it's not just because you're in a different culture and so you're scared, we're not just talking about that, we're talking about the level of discomfort is so freaking high!
Because you are not in anything that you're familiar with.
Let me tell you about my First culture shock.
My very first culture shock was just spent in....
I live in Texas, in the United States.
And I was traveling to a different city in Texas, and I know all the cities in Texas, because I'm really well traveled in Texas and in the United States, just not as much in the world.
But, in Texas, there's another city, and I was traveling to that city, and I staid a weekend with a Vietnamese family.
A Vietnamese family who only spoke a little bit of English.
And they were having a family reunion that weekend, the weekend that I was going.
And, they ignored me!
They ignored me and spoke Vietnamese the whole fucking weekend!
And they were nice to me! Ohh, they fed me well and they made sure I was entertained and they tried to make sure that I had what I needed, but they didn't sink all of their time and energy into trying to speak simple English with me. They sunk their time and energy into interacting with each other!
Speaking in Vietnamese!
It was the first time that I had to make sure to take off my shoes before I went into the house!
They had perfect, plush, white carpet!
And it is in the Vietnamese culture to not walk through the house with your shoes on!
It's also European.
But, it's not American.
Well, they're American now, so I can't say that.
But, it's not in my culture. It's not in the culture that I grew up in. In the culture that I grew up in, we all walk around with our shoes on in the house.
Just all of these changes, all of these possibilities, it was just so uncomfortable! And the thing is, I was only gone for a weekend! I mean, that was it! I was gone for a weekend!
And yet, I got back to the city I was living in at that time, I took the bus back to the city I was living in at the time, and I was so happy to see McDonald's!
I was like, Oh! Thank God for McDonald's!
Now, I'm not one of those people who puts down fast food joints or anything like that.
I don't put things down like that. To me, fast food joints have their place in society. And, I enjoy fast food, myself! So, I don't think of that stuff as being junk food. I just think of it as being cheaper food and faster food, but not junk food.
But, I never understood how much I valued my own cultural norms until I was pulled out of them for just three days! I mean, we're talking about just three days. Just a weekend.
That was it.
But those three days were some of the emotionally most.... so straining on my emotionality and so straining on my emotional capabilities that it was just Whew! it was so, so stressful!
So, guys, when you're making room and space for love in your life and for family and for connections in your life, you have to understand that that's going to involve you being really open to sometimes replacing what you currently have with the new thing and the new objects and the new people and the new experiences and the new homes.
And guys, that's just not going to be comfortable, and you have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
You have to have a certain level of comfort with discomfort.
You have to be willing to have discomfort in order to experience new things and thus expand yourself!
Hey! Expanding yourself is worth it! It's so worth it! I love expanding myself! And so I'm in the habit of being willing to put up with a hell of a lot in order to get that done.
Okay, now I'm nearing the end of this video and I'm going to go over to the kitty, and I'm going to introduce you to Oakley.
This is a family cat and he is so, so sweet, and we all love him very, very much.
Okay, here we go....
Okay, say Hello to everyone, Oakley!
Say Hello to everyone.
This is Oakley the cat, and he is very black, as you see, and he is very lovable and he's very warm and soft and he's really amazing.
So, I wanted to introduce you guys to Oakley the cat.
Guys, I hope you have a wonderful day, and I hope this video was helpful to you, but please subscribe below. Please subscribe below and Like the video. I want to hear your comments. I want to hear your personal insights into making space and making room in your life and using The Vacuum Law of Prosperity to get the people that you want and the relationships that you want.
Thank you so much, guys!