Thursday, March 30, 2017
Thursday, November 10, 2016
Hello everyone! My name is Rita Gehman, and I'm here to talk to you about shredding your life!
Is there anything in your life that you really value that you're trying to keep protected? Like a marriage or your kids or your home or your job or your security or some part of your life that you're trying to keep protected?
Guys, being careful with it is the worst way to protect it!
The best way to protect it is to USE it!
And go out there and TOUCH it! And use it and make use OF it! And make use of your relationship with your kids. Expose your kids to the world. Show them what this is. How to respond to it. What this is. How to respond to it.
Engage with your partner! If you have enough fear about doing something with your partner and something might happen, NO!
No. Screw that!
Shred your life!
Anything that is strong enough to hold up through your shredding is made STRONGER! And anything that is not strong enough will BECOME stronger!
Guys, engage with your spouse, engage with your kids, show them the world, take your spouse out, get a new job, quit your current job, get a new job!
Go out there and engage with your world!
Shred your life!
Shred your world!
Do not do this soft.... Okay, we gotta protect this... type of situation.
Guys, if you want to protect those things in your life that you value the most, your money, your job, your wife, your husband, your kids, your home, your vehicle, don't ignore those things!
Don't distance yourself from those things or those people or those situations. Get out there and engage with them!
Grab ahold of them!
Engage with them! Connect with them!
Explain things to them. Be so brutally honest that you can't even handle it yourself. That's how you make yourself stronger.
If you're not treating yourself well enough. If you're like, say, way overweight or way underweight or you have a disease or something, then you're not engaging with yourself enough! You're not taking good enough care of yourself!
That means you need to go out there and you need to own your power. You need to give yourself more.
Take yourself to a spa, take yourself on a vacation, give yourself a new thing that is not just an emotional cover up but an actual thing that makes you feel empowered as a person!
I can do this!
Guys, shred your life! Shred everything in your world! Shred it all!
Do not be gentle with it or soft with it. Be kind with it, be good with it, but don't be gentle, guys! Not if you're trying to protect something in your world that you want to grow and become stronger. Guys, go out there and shred your world! Shred it! Shred it! Shred your world!
Get a comment on there!
Like my video!
Guys, shred your world! Shred it!
Monday, October 10, 2016
Hello everyone! My name is Rita Gehman, with Intuitive Woods, and today I want to talk to you about why the United States of America is the most powerful country in the world!
We own everything, we have the best military, we have the highest technology, we have the richest people, we have the largest number of rich people, we have the strongest economy, we have the strongest force of will, we have our natural strength!
So, a lot of people think that all of these symptoms are actually causes, that we are strong because we have a good military, because we have rich people, because so on and so forth.
I would say that those are all symptoms.
All of those wonderful things that we have that we the U.S. have more than other countries, I think that those are all symptoms. Those are all side effects of the actual cause.
I believe that the reason why America is the strongest country in the world is that we give basic, a lot, not just basic freedoms, but a wide variety of basic freedoms to average people.
Average people, average Joes, regular people are the ones that come up with the big ideas and then skyrocket things into world class entrepreneurs and business owners and CEOs and the most powerful people in the world of the most powerful nation in the world.
But, those people didn't start out that way. Those people were not born that way, they did not get in that way. They started out as regular people, average Joes, and because the United States has a system which allows anybody, anywhere in the U.S. to go from average to skyrocketing, everybody in our nation has the potential for doing that. And I believe that we have a set system which allows that to happen.
I believe that is the reason why America is the most powerful country in the world.
I believe all the other good things, the excellent military, the excellent technology, the vast amount of riches, the vast number of rich people, the vast number of economic freedoms and economic flexibility, the easy access to really thorough and well endowed higher education, all of these wonderful things. I believe that all of these things are symptoms of the fact, of the real cause, which is that we have a system, we have a structure which supports the average Joe, which supports the regular person in America that allows them to skyrocket their own career and, if they are business owners and entrepreneurs, the careers of all of the people around them, as well.
So, that's what my opinion is on that. Guys, I would love if you would subscribe below. Please subscribe below, because you really want to do this. Like the video, because you love my charming beautiful face! And I want to hear your comments, guys. I want to know what you think about these things!
So, please comment on this video and let me know what you think!
Why do you think the United States is the most powerful country in the world? If you're from a different country, do you think your country's more powerful than us? If so, why? And if not, why not?
I want to hear everyone's opinions.
Guys, Muah! I love you so much. I'm here for you. I'm always here for you. Please subscribe and connect with me. I love connecting with people, because I love people. Connect with me because you want to connect with me!
Alright, thank you! Bye.
Hello everyone! My name is Rita Gehman, and this video is for men.
Guys, I'm sure you want to understand why women get the way we get during out time of the month and what exactly that involves.
Also, guys, this may be a little bit scary for men, but don't worry about it. I'm going to walk you through it really, really carefully, so just come in, sit down, have a beer, have some tea, have some coffee, and let's just chat about this and I'll explain everything to you guys.
Okay, guys, women have a two week cycle. Every two weeks, we either have ovulation, which is when we really are great and when we're most likely to get pregnant, but we can also second most likely to get pregnant during menstruation, which happens the other two weeks!
So, we have one week of ovulation, and then two weeks later, we have menstruation, and then two weeks later we have ovulation and then two weeks later we have menstruation.
Just so you know, ovulation has a little bit of pinking or bleeding sometimes, just a little bit. Sometimes, we wear pads during that time of the month if our bodies are like that.
Also, you should understand that if you value virginity and you value that sort of thing, you should understand that a woman's hymen, which is the piece of tissue that people usually determine to see if she is a virgin or not, you should understand that a broken hymen does not mean that she lost her virginity. And an in tact hymen does not mean that she didn't lose her virginity. It's not a definite test for virginity either way.
For example, girls who are more active, who run around or are in athletics a lot, and girls who are simply just walking around, their hymen can break just from walking, just from regular walking around.
Depending upon the kind of person, we all have different bodies, and so that's definitely something that can happen to a girl.
So, that does not mean that she's not a virgin.
On the other hand, sometimes when people have not had sex for a long time, that tissue can actually grow back enough to where, not completely necessarily, but enough to where you would feel it if you broke it again.
So, that might seem like there's virginity when there's not.
So, guys, if you're one of those guys that thinks that one equals the other, it doesn't.
So, that's just a big old mess. Just forget about that.
If you don't trust your woman, don't fucking marry her!
Period. End of story.
If you do trust her, accept her the way she is! And move on with your life!
Move on with both of your lives.
Alright, now when it comes to menstruation, what happens is in order for a woman to have good, fresh, solid material for making a baby, she needs to keep her uterus really clean!
So, once a month, her uterus actually creates a new lining underneath the lining that it had, and it allows the old lining to detach from the wall of the uterus, and it comes out in the vagina.
It is bloody. Sometimes a woman can have a period for two days and that's it. Some women can have a period for seven to eight days.
And the twenty eight day cycle is measured from the beginning of one period to the beginning of the next period.
So, it's measured from Day 1 of one period to Day 1 of the next period.
Some women are irregular and they just come at various times. Some women are regular.
So, that depends.
Now, if you've ever seen your woman or your girlfriend or your wife, if you've ever seen her change out her pads or tampons, you should understand that sometimes it's more than blood that comes out.
Sometimes, it's like these little globules, and they're black. And it's almost like clotted blood. They're not black, they're dark red. They're stained the color of blood.
This is actually the lining of the uterine wall.
It's kind of like Jell-O. It's kind of solid, but not really.
It's kind of gel-like. Sometimes, that comes out with the regular menstrual blood. That's just the lining of the uterine wall and it's just stained the color of blood. I believe normally it's actually clear, clear colored.
So, it comes out. And that tends to come out in pieces, not all at once. And they're just little pieces, here and there.
Some women use tampons. And by the way, using a tampon can actually affect a hymen, one way or the other, so make sure that you understand, that you're not bringing any judgment.
And, to be honest, you shouldn't be so concerned about a woman's virginity that that's what you're focusing on, because if that's what you're focusing on, let me tell you something, marriage is going to throw you for a loop.
Long term relationships are going to throw you for a loop.
You're not going to be able to handle anything in marriage if you're that uptight and that stressed about somebody's virginity.
If you don't accept her the way she is, whether or not she's a virgin, then you're just not able to deal with or handle a long term relationship.
So, you probably shouldn't be marrying, yourself, anyway.
Okay, back to menstruation.
So, when a woman tells you to go to the store and get a certain product, either tampons or pads or both, have her describe the colors of the box to you.
That will really reduce the time you have to spend in the women's products aisle. Have her describe what colors.
If she has an old package that she's just run out of, whether it's in the trash, have her show it to you.
Have her show you what it looks like.
Write it down on a notepad, so that you don't have to remember when you get to the store. It will probably irritate her more if you ask her all these details, and then you're calling her at the store to confirm things. Just write it the fuck down!
Some pads, say if it was Always pads, and it was blue, and it was Overnight, that would be orange, so it's a blue and orange package.
If she likes Kotex then that's black and purple, or it's purple and white.
It all depends upon which version of Kotex she uses.
She will probably tell you "with or without wings."
So, the wings are an adhesive strip that go around the edge of the panties, and a lot of times women prefer pads with wings, because it prevents blood from seeping over into the edge of the pad, and actually running along the edge and seeping up onto the edge of the panty.
So, it actually protects the panty from blood that would actually fill up the pad and then spill over a little bit onto the side.
So, wings really matter!
If she doesn't say anything, get her wings automatically.
If she says with wings, get her wings. If she says, without wings, don't.
But get her wings automatically. That should be the first thing you should do.
If she asks for tampons, if she asks for pads, always make sure that you get the strength that she wants.
Sometimes they're light, sometimes they're medium, sometimes they're heavy, sometimes they're super heavy.
That's in both pads and tampons.
You need to get something that she prefers.
Some women, they have a light period, and they really want to have very light weight padding and tampons, because they don't like to feel like there's a big diaper down there.
Some women are the opposite in experience.
They have a really heavy flow, and they're constantly freaking out about, Oh God! Is this leaking or not?
They really want to feel like they have a diaper down there!
They really want to feel like, Oh my God! I have huge, ultra protection underneath me taking care of my heavy flow!
Yes! This is good!
So, guys, always remember that what she's dealing with is a very personal thing, it's a very private thing.
Mocking it, making fun of it, making jokes about it, complaining about it, talking to other people about it, complaining to other people about it, ALL of those are enormous forms of disrespect!
It's kind of like if somebody walked up to you and said, Hey! Do you trust your wife? With the implication that your wife is cheating on you or something like that. That would be extremely insulting to you. You would know that that's a good time to punch this guy in the face!
Well, when you do that about your wife, she wants to punch you in the face, because you're being THAT LEVEL of disrespectful to her.
This is a very private, personal thing that she's going through, once a month, and mocking it, making jokes about it, being disrespectful about it, criticizing it, complaining about it, and ESPECIALLY if you talk to other people about it. Oh! It's ten times worse! It's SO insulting!
Don't pull that shit on women. Don't do that shit.
Alright, guys, my name is Rita Gehman, and I would love to hear your comments!
If you have more advice for guys, or if you're a guy yourself, and you want advice and you want to provide some comments and some advice out, just any thought you guys have, I want to hear those things, because I love you guys!
Guys, you should comment, because you just love interacting with me!
Please like the video because this is an awesome video!
And please subscribe to my channel if you have not already done so, because you want to connect with me more and I want to connect with you more!
Guys, I love you so much! And I really, really care about you guys. I'm always here for you. Thank you!
Tuesday, October 4, 2016
Hello everyone! I'm Rita Gehman, with Intuitive Woods, and this question is from Rob.
Okay, let's see here.
He is asking... he has a long term girlfriend for six years and apparently they're not married yet and he wants to know if he needs to push for sex, because he wants more sex, but he wants to know if he needs to push for sex or if pushing would be too much, if it would be pushing over the line.
Okay, this is a very good question, and it's a question that a lot of guys I think have, but they don't feel comfortable asking, because they're afraid of the answer being No No No! Don't push her! Don't worry about that!
First of all, Rob, I want to say that if you've been with your girlfriend for six years, I sure hope you have a plan for marriage. I sure hope you have a plan for asking her. It's fine if you guys have talked about this, but if you have not talked about this, you may want to have a conversation with her about it. You may have to develop a plan. Maybe think about a proposal or something like that!
So, there is that aspect of it.
A woman will feel more amorous when she feels more secure. So, security helps women feel better. They have to feel secure in their environment, and they also have to feel secure within themselves. So think of those two things.
Right now, you're part of her environment, but also loving you as she does, you're part of her inner world, you're part of her sense of herself.
So, it's important that you understand that her desire to be wanted and loved goes hand in hand with her desire to have sex.
I'm assuming that she's not some needy, having sex with anybody to get love, so assuming that she is a well adjusted female, which most women are, most men are well adjusted men, assuming that's the case, then we're looking at a woman who has been with you for six years. Maybe the sex has become a little monotonous or not as often, maybe she's kind of thinking of it as a long term relationship which will hopefully come to marriage at some point, but she's kind of already acting like you're in the middle of a marriage. You've been married for a few years.
So, first of all, you need to make sure that you think about the proposal and you think about moving forward with the relationship. And do not tie sex with that. Do not tie those two things together. And if she promises things like that, don't take it too seriously, not because she wouldn't follow through, but because women still need to feel secure internally and externally when they have sex.
They need to feel secure in both worlds. If they don't, then they tend to kind of not be sure. They tend to have sex in desperation or they tend to withdraw from sex completely.
Okay, now if you're already having sex with her, you're just not having as much as you want, that's a different aspect. You can just ask to rev it up. You can step up your game a little bit. Come on, Rob! I mean, step up your game!
Women respond to men going all out for them.
So, step up your game, and keep it consistent.
It's okay to do special events and things like that, and you should do that, you should step up your game in that area, but also think of ways that you can kind of consistently keep your game at a higher level, from here on out.
It will add more interest to her life. She will feel richer, and that will definitely factor in levels of security, and a sense of self, self worth, and like that.
Now, of course, it's important to understand that everybody needs to have self worth within themselves, but they're romantic partner is really close. It's not like the level of YOU. You have to develop your own sense of self worth, and so does she. But your romantic partner is your complement. In a lot of places, they're your opposite gender, but even in same sex marriages and relationships, there's a complimentary aspect to it. So they are strengthening you in ways in which you may be weak.
So, if she doesn't feel secure in her relationship with you, or if you do not know her love language.... Rob, I would really recommend you go out and you get a book called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
It's a really good book, and if you don't have the same love language as she does, then it will help you understand what her love language is, and you can connect with her more. And help her understand that you need more sex, more often!
Make sure that you have a proposal down and planned, or that you guys have talked about it and had a conversation and that you know where you're going. And have a plan! Don't just kind of meander along, thinking Oh! It will happen someday!
Don't pull that shit with women. We don't appreciate that half-assed approach. Think of ways to not only spike stepping up your game in special events and things with friends and family and things like that, things that make her feel special and appreciated, women really want to feel appreciated, but also think of ways to step up your game in realistic little increments where you can keep it consistently that way.
It will help make you feel better as a man, and it will make her feel better as a woman, and the two of you will be able to grow together, rather than just plateauing.
Rob, I really recommend that you push a little bit. You let her know what you need, but don't tie that with any type of reciprocation. Just tell her what you need. Tell her what you need. Tell her why you need it.
If she understands, then great! Your problem is fixed.
But, if she doesn't understand, then this could be an emotional issue. It could be tied to the fact that you're not married yet. You've been together for six years. Maybe you did have a plan, and maybe she doesn't feel like you're following through on the plan. Maybe she feels like you're not actually about to implement the plan.
Get the ball rolling!
Come on, Rob! Step up! Step up to the plate!
Alright, guys, I'm Rita Gehman with Intuitive Woods. Please subscribe below!
Like the video!
And, guys, I would just love to hear your comments and hear what your thoughts are. If you have any advice for Rob, by all means, give it out.
And guys, if you have any questions for me, I'm always here for you! I really want to hear what you have to say. I'm always here for you.
Thank you so much, guys!
My name is Rita Gehman, with Intuitive Woods, and this video is about what I believe is happening in Saudi Arabia today.
I actually believe that Saudi Arabia is about to change their laws.
So, stay tuned for more of this stuff.
Okay, this channel is about, my channel Rita Gehman, is about helping you develop security through understanding of life. Personal security through understanding of life.
I used to not have security and now I have it a lot, and I want to help other people.
So, back to the subject at hand.
I believe that Saudi Arabia is actually about to get rid of their capital punishment laws, or at least severely decrease them.
Laws that have people being beheaded in public squares for things like homosexuality.
I'm from the U.S. so over here it's legal to be homosexual and to marry and it's legal to actually get legally married as a gay or a lesbian here in the U.S.
Also, in Saudi Arabia, you would get beheaded for things like adultery. If you committed adultery you would be beheaded.
Things like fornication, I believe something like that actually required a lot of lashings.
But, anyway, there were different things.
I believe theft also caused a beheading, but that might be a lashing situation.
Rape constituted beheading.
As a woman, of course, I'm a little bit more in favor of that!
I believe what's happening....
and the reason why I believe that Saudi Arabia is about to change some of their capital punishment laws and replace them with either lashing or imprisonment or maybe deportation or some other type of punishment... the reason why I think this is because, in previous years, Saudi Arabia only executed.....
First of all, we have to understand that when somebody is sentenced and when somebody is executed.
For the past eighty years, for a long time, the rate of sentencing has been about four or five per year.
We're not talking about executions here, we're talking about sentencing.
So, if somebody was sentenced to be executed, a lot of times they would be put in prison, awaiting execution.
Okay, maybe it wasn't quite that small, but the execution was still a lot less than the sentencing.
The execution rate was maybe ten people, twenty people per year, but that was it.
And the United States has an even higher execution rate and we don't execute very many people, so Saudi Arabia, you're still in the Western World's good eyes, positive light, everything like that, so far on that.
The sentencing is higher than the number of executions.
So, let's say forty people were executed that year, but eighty people were sentenced, were actually sentenced to be put to death that year.
Okay, eighty people out of hundreds of millions of people is a very, very small number of people, so I don't want to hear any crap about people saying, Oh, these people! Capital punishment is so bad!
There is, I believe, a time and a place for that.
I think what makes Saudi Arabia's capital punishment so controversial is that they do public executions. Now, they say it's for a deterrent, they use it as a deterrent, but to be honest, I don't care so much about the deterrent. To me, that's a good reason to do it, as that I do believe that, if you're going to execute somebody, it shouldn't necessarily be in a hidden, private location.
In the U.S. there is always a limited number of people who are allowed to see the execution of somebody here in the U.S. and it is, in my view, taped, but it's not live streamed or anything like that.
Large crowds can't gather around and see it.
I do think that if you're going to execute somebody, bringing it out in the open and honestly.... not that the U.S. does it dishonestly or anything, they're very valid, but I do believe that Saudi Arabia has a bit more of an open situation.
When people die, we mourn openly rather than inside. I believe that's better for people and humanity. And if you're going to execute somebody, I believe doing it in front of a whole bunch of people could also be healthier for everyone involved. For both the people being executed and for the people who are watching the execution. I believe it can be healthier to actually have everything like that out in the open.
But, anyway, the reason why I think that Saudi Arabia is about to change its capital punishment laws is for a couple of reasons.
Number one, they have been sentencing a lot more people to die over the past eighty years than have actually been executed.
Actually, a small number of people have been executed every year compared with the number of people who have been sentenced. I would say about double. Double numbers of the sentenced.
That's my first clue.
Second of all, in the last two years, all of a sudden, Saudi Arabia's execution rate has sky rocketed!
What had been about forty people per year executed has now reach over a hundred and sixty people per year.
I think last year, 2015, it was a hundred and fifty, and we're not even done with 2016 yet, and I believe there have been over a hundred and sixty.
Hold on now.
The rate of sentencing has NOT increased. In fact, in the last ten to twenty years, it's even decreased down to almost nil, down to just about two people per year.
I mean, they sentence people very, very seldom these days.
But, the execution rates have suddenly sky rocketed.
So, here's what I think is happening.
I think that Saudi Arabia is about to change their capital punishment laws, and they are making sure that people who had been sentenced to death are not grandfathered in under the new laws.
I think they're about to change their capital punishment laws and I think they're getting rid of people who have been waiting and they're emptying their coffers and they are going ahead and executed pretty much everybody who has been waiting to be executed and they're cleaning out their coffers so that they can bring in the new laws without those people being grandfathered in under the new system.
That's what I think has happened.
By the way, Saudi Arabia, I think it's a great plan.
I do support public execution, but I also support what the U.S. does. I think that each country and each culture has their own way of doing things, so I support both sides.
But, Saudi Arabia, I do agree with what you're doing.
I do agree that some offenses are not capital punishment offenses.
Again, I think if somebody kills somebody, that's a good reason to get executed. I do agree that rape may be a capital punishment offense. But, things like adultery. I believe that's more of a relationship thing. Something that's between husband and wife.
Things like homosexuality, I believe that's a personal freedom and a personal choice between that person and God.
So, I personally support what you're doing, if that is in fact what you're doing.
Guys, I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions.
Please subscribe below and like the video and I want to hear what you think about what I just said!
Muah! I love you guys, and I'm here for you if you guys ever need anything. Thank you.
Hello everyone! I'm Rita Gehman, with Intuitive Woods.
And this video is about sex and emotions.
How they affect each other.
Okay, guys, my channel is about building security, building personal security, through understanding of life.
So, I hope I'm always building your personal security in my channel.
Okay, now, back to the subject at hand.
Sex and emotions involve so many back and forth components.
First of all, on the one hand, we have sexual activity which is, Oh, God! It feels so good. It's wonderful! It's great! It feels fantastic.
And a lot of people, when they first start having sex, they first start having sex for purely pleasurable reasons.
No other reasons.
Also, if you're attracted to somebody and you're really turned on by them, then having sex with that particular person... that's what sex is for you.
It's not sex with anyone. It's sex with that particular person who is so attracted to you, whether you're married to them or not at the time that you first have sex with them.
And then, on the other side, you have your emotions. You have your emotional connection. You have your heart connection.
How you feel about the other person. How you feel about yourself. How you feel about sex itself, sexual activity.
How you feel about sex within your culture, within your religion, within your society, within your views of right and wrong, within your views of God and what He would want, all the different aspects of emotional connection that can be supportive of each other and also those emotions can also be conflicting, where you love the other person. Maybe you're even married to the other person.
But, on the other end, you were told as a child, God does not want you to have sex before you're ready or before marriage or whatever. So, somehow, you have this idea of sex being associated with sin.
So, even though you may be married or even though those things may technically be resolved within yourself, you may not feel resolved about that.
Okay, sex and emotions are a little bit like a ping pong ball. No pun intended!
It's a little bit like a ping pong ball that is bouncing back and forth between your sexual life and your emotional life.
Your sexuality is one of your life forces. It is one of the things that make your life just pop!
Again, no pun intended.
It is what makes your life so enriching, so powerful, so strong. Some of the other things that make your life like that are your family, your friends, your children, your parents, your significant other, your boyfriend or girlfriend, husband, or wife. Other things that make your life feel like that are your work if you really love your work or your career. You really love being that person.
And your sense of self. What you think about yourself. How you think of yourself as a person. How, mmm, I'm strong, I'm motivated, I have this spirit, I have this vivaciousness, this risk, this risk assessment, this comfort with risk, this strength. Maybe you have a soft heart, and you're that kind of person, and you're kind and you're gentle and you're good to people.
So, your view of yourself also affects how you have sex.
Maybe you're a good girl or a good boy, and sex is the forbidden fruit. This exciting new thing.
And maybe sex for you is that, until it stops being exciting, but by that time, maybe you're in a more committed state.
So, that's a very healthy way of looking at sex,
if you're that type of person and you see things in that way.
It's not that sex is bad or that sex is associated with evil beings like forbidden fruit, but sex is good, and if you're seeing it in that healthy light and way, and then you see it in a more committed way later on, when the excitement wears off, that's a very healthy way of adjusting to changes in your perspective about sex.
On the other hand, if you're kind of a bad boy or a bad girl and maybe you like how exciting sex is in the beginning, and you're not sure what to do with it after it becomes more stable and more steady.
Or, the opposite can be true.
You may think that sex is always boring in the beginning, but the more you practice it, the more you work at it, the more you can really jump up your game with this person.
I will say that sex with one person increases with pleasure with that person over time.
So, if you ever have the situation where you have bad sex in the beginning, don't worry about it.
The sex will increase with more practice with that particular person.
Even if you're really good at sex, even if you have a reputation for being good at sex, in the beginning you may have bad sex or awkward sex or just not as good as you normally are with one particular person, but if you practice sex with that particular person, they'll get better at it with you, you'll get better at it with them, and that unique situation of you with that particular person will just spiral upward and it will be really great.
Okay, so let's talk about how sex and emotions can affect each other positively and negatively.
When you have conflicting emotions about sex and about what you're doing with sex, that is the biggest thing that can fuck you up.
It has very little to do with how you're having sex or whether or not you're having sex. Because, actually, you can not be having sex and still have conflicting emotions about sex.
So, over here, in the emotional category, if you're not able to think about, Okay, how do I feel about these different things? Why do I feel those things?
Did those beliefs serve me at another time, but they don't serve me anymore?
Do I now need to get rid of some of those beliefs?
Be self aware of conflicting emotions about sex. It's one of the most important things you can do for yourself. And for your sexual partner.
One of the best things you can think of is, Okay, how was I raised to think about sex?
How was I raised to think about sex in legitimate terms and in illegitimate terms?
How was I raised to think about sex with the person I'm currently with, about my husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, or just a fling, a one night stand.
So, it's important for you to be aware of how you view your sexual history, and your emotional sexual history.
It's also important for you to be aware of how you would like to feel about sex.
Because we all view sex in very different ways.
Some people want to view sex in a very sacred way. It's a very sacred, private, special thing that should only occur between two people and it should not be taken lightly and it should not be done lightly.
And some people want to view sex as one of the aspects of a whole spectrum of their overall, whole sexuality, and that their sexuality should be exercised at all times, whether it is sexual speech, sexual dress, actual sexual acts, and all of the spectrum of their sexuality.
They bring that to the forefront of their world and they show their power and their forcefulness and their strength and they own themselves in this way.
So, it's important that you really, truly own who you are as a person.
It's important that you understand how you view sex now and how you would like to ideally view sex on your own terms, outside of God, outside of religion, outside of family, outside of community, outside of all the things that are also influencing you and that have influenced your emotional history of sex. It's important to know how, Okay, how would I like to view sex?
Just me. Nothing inside of these walls but me. Just me.
And to be self aware of that.
You may have to make some decisions as to say, You know what? I used to think this, and I used to think this was the case, but I don't think that anymore. I don't think sex is bad anymore. I don't think that sex is purely a marital thing anymore. Or, I don't think that sex is a sin anymore. Or, I don't think that a woman can't initiate sex anymore. Or that a man can't be more sexually aggressive if he would like to be in the bedroom and his woman is okay with it, or his partner is okay with it.
So, guys, it's important for you to understand what beliefs about sex that you may have had about situations about yourself, and that you may need to evaluate those beliefs and say, Okay, are those beliefs still serving me?
If they're not still serving me, what can I do to alter them or get rid of them or do something to where I now feel like I'm being served completely by all my beliefs.
Guys, you do not serve your beliefs.
Your beliefs serve you.
Your beliefs serve you.
So, when you look at your beliefs, they have to be things that serve you and that make you feel better and make you stronger and more powerful and stronger and more fulfilled and more well rounded versions of yourself.
They are not there for other people, other people telling you what you should be doing. They're there for you to say, Okay, What do I determine? What are my rules? What is my personal assessment of laws and what my rules are? What do I want out of sex? What do I want out of the feeling about sex?
How do I feel about sex? And what do I want to feel about it?
So, guys, when you're looking at sex and emotions, a lot of it has very little to do with the actual sexual act.
I say this, having a lot of experience in this area, in both ways that I was happy with how my sexual connection affected my emotions and how I was unhappy with it.
I was always very self aware as to how I'm being affected by that, emotionally and non emotionally. There are times when I wanted a one night stand and I knew why I wanted one. And there were times when I wanted a relationship before I had sex, I wanted a good, solid, strong relationship before I had sex with that person, and I knew why I wanted that.
But, I didn't start out that way, guys.
I started out not really knowing and just experimenting with a lot of different ways, and understanding what I wanted then, and then as I grew, you know, your wants and your needs and your desires shift to different areas in your life.
And so, throughout my life, speaking personally, throughout my life, my view of sex shifted and has altered and it's been different depending upon what I personally needed at that time. And what I knew and what I was aware of the fact that I needed.
I never just jumped into something or jumped into some decision without thinking about why I'm making this decision. Why am I doing what I'm doing? And I was always very aware of these things.
So, guys, I would love to hear your thoughts about sex and emotions. How sex affected your emotions, positively or negatively, and how your emotions affected your sex life, either positively or negatively.
I would love to hear your personal stories.
I know the rest of my viewers would love to hear them, as well, and to learn from your personal experiences.
Not just mine, but yours, as well!
So, please, comment below.
And guys, like the video if you like the video.
I know you love my videos. So, go ahead and like my videos because you want some more pop and zing in your life!
And guys, please subscribe, because you know that life is full of understanding and I bring more understanding to you.
So, guys, I love you so much. I'm here for you if you ever have any questions, please get ahold of me. And I'm here for all of you, guys. I love you so much! Thank you.
Hello everyone! I'm Rita Gehman, with Intuitive Woods.
Today's question is brought to you by Emily.
Okay, I've got her question right here.
My husband and I have been married for many years, but we have kind of been doing the same thing over and over again for the past ten years. Do I need to leave our relationships alone or do I need to actually do something about spicing it up?
Okay, everyone, I'm Rita Gehman, with Intuitive Woods, and this channel is about bringing personal security to you through understanding of life.
Now, Emily, your husband may be happy with the way things are. You may not be, or vice versa.
Or you may both be fine, but you're just kind of wondering if you need to do anything, in other words, are you fine? Do you need to do something?
Is everything okay?
First of all, I want to say that a lot of times when we watch our favorite shows, like our favorite TV shows and movies, we do see a lot of drama there and a lot of discontentment that doesn't necessarily exist in real life. So, I do want to warn you that you may be worried that he's unhappy when in fact maybe he's just not unhappy.
That is a possibility. Sometimes, our favorite TV shows affect how we think about our real relationships, and reality is absolutely not the same as TV or movies. It's not the same.
Things are scripted, and they're scripted for our entertainment pleasure, but they are not real life.
The second thing I want to say is if you've noticed any discontentment in your husband, the first thing I would do is ask him. Is there something on your mind? Would you like to change something about our relationship? Is there something else going on? That's the first thing that I would ask him.
And give him a lot of time to reply back.
Don't demand an answer right there, because he may have been....
First of all, men like to work things out on their own. So, they're not very social creatures. Even extroverted men are not as social as extroverted women.
Outgoing men are not as social as outgoing women.
So, that's the first thing.
Second of all, understand that if he's working something out or if he needs to deal with something and he does want to tell you about it, he may be still figuring out how he's going to bring it up with you.
Now, if you're like me, and you're a little bit of a volcano sometimes, and I'm a little bit of a volcano sometimes, you may find yourself in a position where you kind of default on your normal way of reacting to things.
Now, he may be thinking about that.
So, you may have to show him that you can choose to not be a volcano, sometimes. You may have to show him that. You may have to kind of be like, "Honey, I want you to know that even though I normally kind of blow up at you, I am worried about this and I'm concerned and if there's something that you want to talk about, I promise to keep myself under control. I promise to... you know..."
So, that's another thing that I would definitely think about.
Also, perhaps he's not the one who is unhappy.
You may have noticed some differences in his behavior and the way he's relating with you, or maybe you're just not sure.
But, if he's not showing anything and you're just not sure, you might consider the fact that maybe you are not sure if you want some changes in your own life.
And it's fine if you do. It's perfectly fine if you do.
If you want changes in your life, woman, go out and get them!
But I will say this.
The way you don't rock the boat with your husband, who may be perfectly fine with the way things are right now, the way you don't do that is to keep things as familiar for him as possible in all of the other areas of your life except for the area that you're changing.
Now, he will have to grow up and be a big boy and deal with the area that you're changing, but if he's in the position of having to adjust to something quite large or some big change that you're about to bring about in his life or a different type of personality or whatever that you're showing now, if he's having to adjust to that, make sure that all the other areas of his life are very familiar.
People can handle change, as long as it's not total change.
As long as it's sandwiched in between familiar things.
People can handle change as long as it's sandwiched between familiar things.
This is in The Power of Habit by Charles DuHigg. He talks about when introducing brand new songs and brand new things to people, the new songs have to be sandwiched in between familiar songs. Otherwise, people will tend to not accept them. People will tend to be like, "Okay, this is too much. I can't handle this change. It wasn't what I thought."
But, if the song is sandwiched in between two familiar songs, people will become a lot more open to that.
And I know that I, myself, throughout my life I've been pretty much resistant to change, but as long as there are predictable areas of my life that are most of my life, I can handle change a hell of a lot easier.
So, I would recommend you doing that with him if you, yourself, are actually looking for the change.
Alright, Emily, I hope that helped you.
Guys, if you have any questions for me, please comment below or send me a message. I would love to hear from you guys, and I would love to answer any questions that you have or give you any advice that you need. I'm here for you guys!
Please subscribe below.
Please like the video.
Guys, I love you so much. I'm here for you.
Monday, September 19, 2016
Hello everyone! My name is Rita Gehman, with Intuitive Woods!
This video is about Sex Shaming!
I'm going to take just a minute and tell you about my channel.
My channel is about making life easier to understand, and therefore, easier to navigate.
I did NOT grow up with people who understood life very easily. I did not have the security that most children are supposed to have. I did not have the emotional intelligence in my parents that most children are supposed to have. Thankfully, all three of us have grown up since then. Yay! But, we all had to find our own individual paths to growth. We were not actually able to help each other grow. So, it was very difficult for a good portion of our lives, for all three of us.
Now, this channel is about helping people understand things and know things that will help make life easier, more understandable, human nature, understand human nature, understand how certain things in life work, esoteric topics, really non-solid topics, and emotions, socialization.
I did not have security back then. But, I have security now. And I want to spread that security to all of you guys! So, that's what my channel is about.
Okay, this video is about Sex Shaming.
A lot of people put down sex and they put down sex shaming. There's a whole big thing about this! It's like, What's going on? What's going on?
Sex shaming is about when people put down sexually active adults who are not in monogamous relationships or who are not married or who are not doing what these other people think that they should be doing, so then they shame that person into this attitude that, Oh! Well, you should be ashamed of what you're doing! Don't you feel ashamed?!
Come on, guys.
They put them down. Some people put them down privately to their face and sometimes they put them down publicly! And it's like, Come on, guys! Sex shaming is another form of.... It's like discrimination. What sex shaming does is it doesn't actually produce the effect that you're wanting to produce. People who are engaging in sex shaming are actually trying to help the people who are engaging in what they believe to be illicit or not correct sexual behavior, whatever that may look like at whatever degree or level that may be. They're trying to help those people understand that, Oh! Life is so much happier and so much steadier and more secure if you have a more conservative life approach, if you have more conservative beliefs, if things are steadier, and more traditional.
Now, I'm a traditional girl, myself, but I also have some pretty modern behavior, so I kind of engage in both sides of that. I'm a traditionalist at heart in some areas of life and I'm a feminist or a modern woman at heart in other areas of life.
So, I'm good with either scenario. And I want everyone to know that I support whatever beliefs you have, because I'm an American and we live in America, and even if we don't agree with people, even if we don't agree with what our neighbors or family members or spouses or our kids are doing, Come on! We should still accept each other. We can still accept what all of us are doing and accept that, number one, we may not know what their lives are like and we may not know what their background is like, we may not have had the life experiences that they've had so we may react to life a little differently than they did. And, to be perfectly honest, even if none of that is true. Even if we can't put ourselves in the other person's shoes, we can still fucking actually accept somebody just because that's the thing to do! You can accept somebody even if you disagree with them, even if you don't think that they're right, even if they seem a little off, a little off kilter, a little stupid, or a little insane. It doesn't matter! We can accept everyone.
So, guys, I want you to know that if you're engaging in sex shaming, I still accept you. I still love and accept you. I don't agree with you. I don't want to engage in the same thing that you're engaging in. But, I still accept you.
Now, I have to talk about my own life here, because I used to be the kind of person who absolutely, positively could NOT handle certain situations. For a lot of time, I didn't understand homosexuals. It's not that I was intolerant of homosexuals. I just really wasn't sure what their thing was.... haha! Well, each other.... but, I really wasn't sure how to go about understanding them. So, that was going on for a long time, and then I got over it, and then I started understanding them, and it was all good.
The same thing happened with single mothers. I've always been real paranoid about being a single mother, myself, because I was raised in such a very strict, orthodox, traditional environment. It was half about the shame, and it was also about the experiences of... My life has been hard enough. I've lived through family abuse, I've lived through all kinds of emotional, lack of emotional intelligence, lack of being able to handle life, I've been homeless twice, it was SHITTY as FUCK, guys! It was so bad!
And then I come across this approach of having the ability to grow myself emotionally, to grow my emotional intelligence. I have the ability to be more open and use my emotionality more, and actually be more emotionally expressive, but also to have more emotional intelligence, which has nothing to do with emotionality. It has to do with being able to handle life! Being able to just handle life.
So, I went through all these stages and they were real hard on me, but half of my problem with being a single mother back then was the shaming and just thinking, Oh God! I don't want to be one of those women!
Sorry if you're one of those women, okay? I don't think like that, anymore. I used to think like that. I don't think like that, anymore.
But, at the time, it was like, there was half of that, and the other half was, My life has been hard enough. I've been homeless twice. It was shitty. It was bad. I've gone months where, for one or two weeks out of the month, I was starving. I didn't have enough food. And this was with or without roommates. It really didn't matter. I was just... God! My energy level was at such a starvation level. It was just so low, and Oh, God! It was shitty!
A lot of my engaging in sex shaming myself, and I'm not being a hypocrite here, I'm saying that I used to engage in sex shaming myself, not only on myself but also on other people I did this.
To me, it was one thing if a woman was emotionally intelligent and she was, say, divorced or something like that, or widowed, and she had children, to me that was one thing but for a young mother to just be out being all emotionally irresponsible and then to have kids, as well, it was like, I grew up in that scenario!
I grew up with a woman who had children when she herself was about four years old, emotionally, and she had the ability to handle life up to the age of four, and not beyond that!
It was HORRIBLE!
I was abused so many times by this woman. And, in multiple ways! And it wasn't because she was a bad person. She was a bad mother, but she was only a bad mother because.... she actually tried to be a good mother! She was actually pouring as much as she could into being a good mother! But, she had low emotional intelligence, which meant that she couldn't handle more than one little piece of life at the same time.
Now, low emotional intelligence affects us all, guys.
Whenever we're growing up, whenever we're teenagers, entering adulthood, entering monogamous relationships, entering parenthood. Oh my God! Emotional Intelligence hits you like a brick wall. You've got to be able to handle life. And, in the beginning, you don't! In each stage of your life, whether you're a kid becoming a teenager, whether you're a teenager turning into an adult, whether you're separating from your family so that you can be more independent and more self sufficient, whether you're getting married, whether you're buying a house, whether you're settling down, whether you're traveling, whether you're staying still, whether you're having children.... All of these that I've just named are different stages of your life. And at each new stage, guess what?! You're going to have low emotional intelligence.
That's the reality of the situation. You're not going to know how to handle it. And, because you're not going to know how to handle it, guess what?! You won't be able to handle it. And it will be shitty as fuck. And it will be shitty as fuck for a little while, and then you start to learn how to be able to handle it.
The problem is, if kids are growing up in a poverty environment, and I do mean a poverty environment, guys I'm not ragging on poor people, I was poor myself! But, if you're growing up in a poverty environment, then you're in an environment where you're not able to thrive, you're just surviving. You're stressing out every month about paying the rent, paying bills, paying for food, and the fact that we all need a little bit extra besides just the surviving, and if you don't have any money left over, then both you and your family are all like, Oh Fuck!
Or, you're spending yourselves way further than you should. And, either way, it's shitty! Either way, it's a crappy situation to be in.
So, guys, emotional intelligence is something that you're not going to have every time you start a new stage of your life. You're going to be really incompetent every time you start a new stage of your life. And that's just the fact of the matter! That's true. That's going to be true at each stage of your life. It doesn't matter how mature you are, it doesn't matter how easily you're able to handle things, when you start a new stage of your life, a brand new stage, you're not going to have emotional competence in that area. If you've been married before, successfully, and you're now widowed, it doesn't matter.
New marriage, new levels of low emotional intelligence.
Okay, so now we're getting back to sex shaming.
A lot of years in my life, I didn't know what I was doing. And I knew that I didn't know what I was doing. I knew that I didn't have the life experience, I didn't have the knowledge, I didn't have the depth of wisdom, and I knew these things about myself.
I wasn't kidding myself. I wasn't like, Oh, well, you know, whatever, life is good, I think I know what's going on, I know what life's about. No, no, I knew I didn't know these things.
I was aware of the fact that I didn't know. At least that was helpful. At least that kept me from jumping into things that I was kidding myself that I was able to do. Now, that didn't stop me from jumping into some things that I was kidding myself that I was able to do when I couldn't, I couldn't handle it, but I tried. I still kept knowing that, Hey, maybe I'm not able to handle this, but at least it will give me the life experience to someday handle it.
So, sex shaming is a really big deal, guys!
You have to be able to accept other people even when you don't feel like that yourself. I had to learn how to accept other people, even though I didn't understand how they could have possibly gotten themselves in that position, because I never would have got myself in that position. I did get myself into a lot of other positions that my family didn't agree with, my friends didn't agree with, that everyone thought was stupid, whatever. But, I did, at least, purposely get into those situations. I did go into them knowing, Hey, I'm probably going to make a fool out of myself, but at least I'm willing to risk something.
I was comfortable with developing my level of risk. I was comfortable with doing that, and all the people around me were not comfortable with doing that. And so they thought I was being foolish or stupid or just unwise, but the thing is, I was getting into those things knowing that failure was a probability and knowing that I may have....
I got myself into renting situations where I couldn't pay the rent and I knew that before I even started, but I still tried to kid myself to say, Okay, maybe that will give me motivation to come up with the money!
And for quite a long time, I was able to do that, for several of my rent situations.
I figured out that I needed to test myself and prove myself on that.
The same thing with relationships. I would put myself into relationships, whether it was friendships or sex or love or whatever, I would put myself into relationships where I didn't know what the hell was going on! I mean, I didn't know what I was doing! And I knew that I didn't know what I was doing.
I knew that I was really inexperienced at this and I was probably going to fail.
But, I did understand the importance of risking things, and at least working on myself, my personal development, my self development, my self growth, by putting myself in the position of being in these friendships or relationships so that I myself could grow.
Again, I understood there was a probability of failing, and I was okay with failing because, to me, failing was not an indicator of whether or not I was successful. Learning through the process, learning through the very painful, rocky process that I knew I was about to go into, to me, learning from that process was my goal.
So, in all of those ways, I was very successful!
And I was very proud of myself for doing that. I was very proud of myself for being successful in those ways. I didn't ever go out of there thinking, Oh, well, I wonder what happened there.
No, no, no. I never had that attitude. Every time shit was going down, every time my life was really crappy, money, relationships, love, lack of emotional intelligence, lack of being able to handle things, health, whatever the situation was, I prided myself on being able to at least say, Okay, I went into this with my eyes open. I knew what I was going to do. I knew how I was going to do it. And I knew that failure was eighty percent likely, and that's not the reason why I did this. I did not do this for the chance of succeeding. I did this for the life experience. And to be able to sit down, even in a very emotionally fraught, stressful situation, and I knew I was going into this, even a situation where I knew it would be rocky and uncomfortable and have high discomfort. I knew that I was doing it for the life experience. I was doing it for the depth of understanding and wisdom that it would give me.
So, I had a lot of confidence in myself in at least having that as my level of success. Whether I was able to sit down and just understand things better and have that life experience.
I was able to do that every time! Because I never just fooled around just going, Oh! It's this person's fault. It's this person's fault. I didn't have a very high attitude of blame. I had a very high attitude of, Okay! I'm hear to learn! I'm not here to be comfortable. I'm not here to succeed. I'm not here to do any of that. I'm here to learn! And it's going to be horrible, and I'm going to hate it, but as long as I'm going through this process, I'm learning. That's what I'm here to do, and that is my measure of success.
So, guys, when it comes to sex shaming, if you've ever engaged in sex shaming yourself, please understand that I have done it myself. I've engaged in sex shaming, whether it was openly or privately in my head, but I still have judged people based upon how sexually promiscuous they were or how sexually active they were. Guys, there are people in our lives who, even thought they have been traditional and steady for their whole lives, some of them did regret not having had a period of their life where they had the wild, crazy stage.
I knew what age I was when I needed to go through that stage, and I went ahead and went through that stage. And it wasn't so much.... Actually, during that stage, I was a virgin. I was a virgin on purpose. I was waiting for marriage. I thought I was going to continue waiting for marriage. But, I didn't lose my virginity until I was 24. But that didn't mean that I didn't mess around with people. And that didn't mean that I didn't date a lot of people who were sexually active since they were 16 or 14, or really young. But, I thought I was waiting for marriage, so I waited for a long time, and that was having a very high sex drive. So, I have a very high sexuality, a very high sex drive, but I kept things at a very controlled state. I had a high amount of self control. I had a high level of self control. Now, I didn't go around and just whore myself around. I did enjoy being wined and dined. I did enjoy dating. I enjoyed being flirted with, I love flirting. Still, to this day, I love flirting. I love that. I love complimenting people in a flirtatious way. And I love snuggling around with people and I love touch, but because I knew that virginity was not something that you could just go back on, it was a one way street, it took me a long time before I was even ready to approach that subject. And I knew that, and so I kept myself away from that for that reason.
Now, I know many people who are sexually active from a young age, but they grow up emotionally and they don't continue that behavior for the rest of their lives. And there are people who value those years when they were sexually promiscuous and they were very wild and crazy, because they felt like, I needed to get that out of my system before I went into the settled down stage, got together with a good woman who was similar to me, and who may have had the same past that I have, and we're more mature, and we're both grown up, and we're able to get together and actually have a steady, traditional kind of relationship, having had the life experiences that we've had to kind of back up our knowledge and our wisdom and our understanding of what's going on in the world.
And I admire people like that. They own their past. They accept and they love and they respect and own their pasts. And guys, that's what sex shaming is all about. When somebody is engaging in sex shaming, it's because they don't consider themselves to be fully developed as a person. Whether it's consciously or subconsciously, there's something about themselves that, to them, seemed incomplete.
And so there's a need to have strict guidelines, strict boundaries of other people that they would not otherwise have if they would not otherwise have. There's a need for these people to engage in very strict, very controlling behavior, saying, You should be doing it this way and going through life this way! You should be a virgin or waiting for marriage or you should be not so sexually active!
You should take life more seriously. You should respect yourself more!
Okay, maybe all of those things are true, but that's not the path that person is on. That person is on a different path. They're on a path where they need to work through their own emotional issues or life experiences or lack thereof or growing thereof of emotional intelligence. They need to work through what their priority list is.
They have the priority list of growing up, getting married, and having kids, and then working on self development and self growth and personal development. And that is their list of priorities.
Then there are other people, people like me, who want to do self growth, self development, and personal development FIRST, those are their top three choices, then they want to buy a house, get married, and have kids. And that is OUR list of priorities.
And NEITHER LIST IS INCORRECT!!!!
Guys, come on! I've engaged in enough sex shaming myself and judging of other people myself to know that this is not comparable! Their lives are NOT comparable to MY life!
They will eventually get to where they need to be. I will eventually get to where I need to be. And the two are not the same!
All of the things on that list are important: Family is important, Children are important, Have somebody that you can love and rely upon is important, Having external family around you is important, You support system is important, AND personal growth, personal development, high emotional intelligence, high social intelligence, high mental intelligence. ALL of these parts are a part of the whole picture, all of life. All of these things are majorly, majorly important. All of these things have high, high value!
And, I think that because we go through life in a certain order, we go through life feeling like either made a mistake by putting one of these things before another and our parents did it differently or we were raised differently, that we think, Oh! I need to encourage and advise other people to do certain things in their life first! To do certain things in a different way!
The truth is, guys, each of our lists of priorities have all of these components in them, but they are in a different order. So, the only difference between your growth and my growth is how we order our list of priorities. All of those elements that I've just mentioned are in all of our lists of priorities, but for some of us, we need to have certain things done first.
For instance, because I was raised by a woman who did not grow up entirely emotionally on the inside, we're not even talking about growth past normal, we're talking about getting up to the level of normal. Because, again, she was in her thirties, she was actually in her twenties when she had me, she was in her thirties when I was younger and she was not even at her own normal level of development when she had me. She was at the four year old level of development. At that time, my father was the same way. He just expressed it in a different way. And the truth is, neither one of them were wrong. They were both doing the best that they could with what they had.
But because of that problem that I had, and how deeply it affected me.... as an Intuitive Thinker, My God! It got so down inside of me! There are people who could have looked at that situation and been like, Oh, yeah, it's a sucky situation and you'll just have to get over it and deal with this.
But, I didn't have that kind of personality! I did not have the kind of personality to take it like that! I had the kind of personality that was like I felt, as an Intuitive Thinker, I felt everything so deeply, on a very deep level, and I internalized everything so deeply! So deeply down inside of me!
Guys, I'm talking with a stuffy nose, so I'm going to take a break here. This is going to be really gross. I'm just going to blow my nose off screen. Don't worry, off screen. I'm just going to do this real fast, because I'm sure you guys don't want to keep listening to me talking with a stuffy nose. That's just nasty.
(blows sweet little nose)
I know you didn't want to hear that, haha!
Okay, one more time. I'm almost done.
Don't go away! I'm here!
Okay, I'm back.
The problem with judging other people because their list of priorities is different from your own is that you don't allow other people to just be human!
They're going about their lives in the way that they want to go about their lives.
Because my mom wasn't emotionally developed past the age that I was at that point, because it deeply affected me, not only was she abusive to me..... My dad was not abusive to me, but he was a little neglectful. He was neglected, and so therefore he didn't know how to express himself very much. She knew how to express herself but her temper was off the charts, it was really bad.
There was a lot of turmoil and a lot of instability, and I was a child, and I knew what was happening, and I knew that things were not as they were supposed to be, and I was very angry about it. And that anger was inside of me for many, many years. In fact, I still have a little bit of it left. I'm working on it. Every day, I work on it a little bit. I try to whittle down my behavior a little bit more.
So, what used to just set me off on a whole bunch of different areas now only affects me to where I only lose my temper on a couple of things, a couple of situations.
And, even now that I've done that, those two areas.... I do still react quite violently, quite in an extreme way, and quite in a bad way, but I have been growing so much on those two areas that they're actually down to half of what they were.
So, I can actually see how I have so much more self control, so much more emotional development in those areas than I had before. And, Oh My God! It's an enormous situation! It makes such a difference! It makes such a difference!
Guys, when you're engaging in sex shaming.... Now, a lot of you haven't engaged in sex shaming yourself, or you stopped doing it, but you've had other people talk to you in that way.
And so you're watching this video because you kind of want some emotional closure on that. Hey! I get that!
By the way, guys, you have emotional closure on that.
That's me giving you permission, saying, Okay! This subject can be closed and put away on a shelf, because it's been dealt with.
Guys, sex shaming comes from people who are not happy with their own development, so they're worried and concerned about other people's development. They are some people who are very judgmental to the extent of actually thinking that people who are not as correct as they think they should be, that those people are bad or evil or stupid, or any of the negative adjectives that you can stick in there.
But, the truth is, guys, they only feel that way because they are unhappy with their own personal growth. They're unhappy with their own personal development. And guys, even if someone is talking to you like this and they're being really hateful and nasty about it, think of yourself as the more experienced person, and think of yourself as the person who comes from a situation of wisdom and steadiness and personal insight into these people
Sunday, September 18, 2016
Hi, I'm Rita Gehman, and this video is about sex and getting up early.
This whole channel is about navigating through life easier, through a deeper level of understanding. Now, I was raised by people who did not have a deeper level of understanding of how the world works and how human nature works at the time that they were raising me.
Thankfully, we have all three of us grown us since then. But, at the time, I didn't have that. Now, life is navigated much easier by all of us.
I think life should be easy. That's my opinion, I think life should be easy.
In these videos, my whole channel is devoted to helping people understand human nature, how people interact, better socialization, and anything that helps make life much easier.
Okay, let's get started!
This video is about sex and getting up early.
When people get up early, they have time to do more in their lives than when they get up late.
Now, you may think that, Well, if you stay up and you get up late, it really doesn't matter.
But, toward evening, even if you're using lots of electric lights, your circadian rhythms start to slow down. In fact, your circadian rhythms really want and desire to slow down. You may be the one who is actually keeping the circadian rhythms off balance, off tilt, a little bit.
So, what this video is supposed to do is it's supposed to talk to you about how your sex life can be improved by you waking up earlier.
Now, when you wake up early every day and you actually get up early every day, that means that your circadian rhythms are more naturally aligned with not only the sun's cycles but the cycle of the year.
Now, the sun comes up later in the day in fall and winter, and we're going into fall and winter right now. But, this time of year requires you to make the most impact during the daylight hours than you would have to during the summer time when you would have a lot of daylight hours.
So, you still have to get up early, even in wintertime, even when it's still dark, because you still need to have that power, that punch, and have your energy at its very, very highest and having already used your energy at its very, very highest before the sun comes up in the wintertime.
Before the sun hits, because the sunlight in wintertime occupies a very short period of the day.
Now, we were talking about your sex life and your energy.
People who stay up late and wake up late, those people are forcing their rhythms to stay up past their circadian rhythm's natural flux, and they tend to get up past the natural, waking up, and growth cycle at the beginning of the day.
Even if you get up early, even if you get up before daylight on some days of the winter, it doesn't matter. The proper time to get up every day is around five (5) or six (6).
If you get up around five or six in the morning, then you've actually added about four more hours worth of energy to the middle of your day and about two more hours worth of energy to the end of your day.
That's six total amount of hours that you just added to your day.... worth of energy.
This means that you can get up and you can fuck better, you can have greater, more meaningful, deeper, more intimate sex. And then, at the end of the day, when you come home from work and you're with your partner, kids have gone to bed and everybody's happy and healthy and ready to go, you'll have all of this extra energy.
You'll feel relaxed and cool and smooth, not hot and tired and dry and itchy and gross that makes you kind of want to zonk out in front of a TV or hit a book or just go straight to bed, just go straight to sleep.
So, getting up early and having that extra umph to your sex life is a really big deal.
It's something that we would all want to have in our lives, and I myself have found this to be really helpful and it just adds so much more energy to your life.
So, whether or not you get up late and go to bed late, or you get up early and go to bed early, you would think that the two would pretty much be the same, because you're covering the same number of hours in the day. But, there's something that happens in the evening when your circadian rhythms are wanting to start slowing down that, if they don't slow down, you're in the position of having forced your rhythms to go further, and when you sleep in, you're missing a crucial part of the day that actually gives you naturally ten times as much energy, which will last throughout the day. It will not just be that much energy in the morning, when you might be thinking, Who cares, anyway. It will give you more energy for sex in the morning, and it will also give you more energy for the entire day.
Morning, afternoon, evening, and the rest and better sleep the next night.
And hey, I always support people having sex in the morning and in the evening. Having sex twice a day, Whew! That really keeps your circadian rhythms going. It actually puts your body back into a better circadian rhythm.
So, use the sex and getting up early in tandem with each other and use them together in kind of a cyclical way, in the morning, in the evening, and start moving your schedule back a couple of hours, earlier a couple of hours, in order to keep things at this really vibrant, high energy, feeling relaxed and cool at the end of the day, rather than hot and tired.
Guys, I would love it if you subscribed below, and I would love it if you would like the video, and go ahead and please comment on my video. I would love to know what you think. And feel free to always comment on any of my videos, and check out my other videos. Thank you so much!
Thursday, September 15, 2016
Wednesday, September 14, 2016
I'm Rita Gehman, and I'm here with Intuitive Woods.
I'm relaxing on my black leather couch right now. I'm trying to get my black kitty to get up here and join me.
Come on, Oakley!
He may or may not come.
You know how cats are.
Anyway, today's video is about when you make room in your life for romance and for parental love and for child love and for family connections, your siblings, all the different... your friends, your community.
I have a long history, family history, of my family not making room for the things in their life, they have a contracting energy rather than expanding energy, and so when I'm looking at things like relationships, I have to understand that I have an environmental predisposition to not really allow new things into my life, not really allow new people into my life.
And that is such a dangerous things, guys.
Oh my god, that is such a dangerous thing.
Because life itself wants to grow. Life itself wants to get bigger and stronger and better and it just wants to expand and become fuller, and....
I guess the kitty's not coming.
Anyway, life wants to expand and grow. That is the nature of life.
But, if somebody has lack of comfort with themselves, lack of comfort with the world, then they tend to have contracting energy.
They tend to have energy that just (contracting sounds), contracts in on itself, rather than being expansive and warm and growing and learning and expanding and filling up the space, and then dashing that spaces to pieces, and filling up the next space, the bigger space.
That is the nature of humankind. The nature of human kind is to be expansive.
So, when you have contracting energy, it's anti-life. It's a little anti-life.
So, you should know that it's okay to rest.
It's okay to take time for yourself and be warm and good and rest, and it's okay to take a long rest, too.
It's good for you to take long and regular breaks, long and regular rest breaks.
This is particularly true for women, but it's really true for men, too.
We all need those rests.
I think rest and sleep are under valued in today's Western society.
It doesn't seem to be undervalued in Eastern society, but it's under valued in Western society.
I really encourage you to just (deep sigh of relief) take a deep breath.
FEEL the Universe coming inside of you and expanding you and being bigger and bolder and better than it is.
The cat is now over there on the table, and I'm tempted to go bother him.
Maybe in a little while.
So, when the Universe is filled with all of these possibilities, it makes me know that, as a human being, I don't have the capabilities for every single possibility out there.
It's not that I don't have the time or the ability.
I do have both! We all have both!
But, my nature, it wants to control and be precise about what it's doing, and it wants to kind contract in on itself a little bit.
But, the thing is, I get better when I grow, and I grow when I learn new things, and I learn new things when I expose myself to new things and I don't just stick to a rigid schedule.
Now, I do need a rigid schedule, because I have a very watery nature, so I need to compartmentalize myself when it comes to my schedule, my time, but just doing that is not the solution.
I have to be able to expand on everything that I'm doing.
Like, today I'm making a thirty minute video and normally I make shorter videos and I want to start making longer videos, and I need to allow myself to expand into that and allow myself to have something that good, that wonderful.
When we're all looking at things like time and love and relationships, we tend to want to put relationships and other people into these compartmentalized spaces.
And the truth is, you can really only do that if you only have quality time.
For people who see each other day in and day out, you need to have enough time to spend around each other, or you need to have really specific times of the day when you sit down and have quality time together.
You can actually schedule people in your life if the times that you spend with them are quality time, they're pure unadulterated quality time.
A lot of us don't have the discipline to pull that off, though.
I myself sometimes just like hanging out with someone.
And I don't necessarily want it to be this ultra high vibration, high energy quality time experience all the time, which means that I need to make up for that by spending more time with them.
It may be cheaper time, but it's more time.
Something's got to give.
I can't just cut people out of my life.
That is a habit that I, personally, tend to have is that I have a habit of cutting people out of my life who are not convenient for me.
And it's a habit that I've been working on rectifying for the past five years.
I've been working on shifting that to building quality relationships and sometimes having a break from them and sometimes just expanding myself to where I can hold more, I can create more spiritual space for people.
So, this video is about creating the space for the people and the relationships in your life that you want to have.
If you want to have love, time, if you want to have romance in your life, you've got to have time for romance in your life.
You've got to have space for romance in your life.
And I don't mean creating the time and space when some beautiful woman shows up or when some amazing guy shows up.
No. No, I don't mean that.
There's something called The Vacuum Law of Prosperity.
And this is something that was really taught by Bob Proctor back in the day, but Bob Proctor is not the originator of this idea, even he learned it from his mentors.
The Vacuum Law of Prosperity involves if you get rid of something, you'll be able to replace it with something more later on.
In other words, the Universe hates a vacuum and it will fill it up with something much closer or something exactly like what you want.
So, for example, if you hate the curtains in your house, get rid of the curtains that you have.
If you want new and better curtains, don't worry about it if you can't afford curtains or you don't know where you're going to get curtains or you have no ability to go out and shop for curtains.
Don't worry about that.
If you want to have new and better curtains in the house, get rid of the curtains that you have!
Because, believe me, the Universe hates a vacuum and you're going to get tired of living in a fish bowl, and those energies are going to combine and it's going to create these sparks, these magical sparks, and it's going to come up with new curtains that you LOVE having!
But, it's really difficult to attract new and better curtains into your life if you don't get rid of the ones that you have.
You have to be willing to get rid of the ones that you have first.
That's the same thing with relationships.
If you have bad, negative relationships in your life and you want a more positive, fulfilling, amazing, so vibrant, rich, makes you feel so strong, like invincible..... if you want relationships like that in your life, you have to get rid of relationships in your life that are soul sucking, that are dragging you down, and that make you feel shitty and bad and like you need to sink more of your energy into them.
Relationships should be a dual benefit situation, where you give somebody else all this amazing energy and you make them feel really great and they do the same thing to you, and yet neither one of you are really losing energy on the deal.
Both of you are gaining Double Energy.
It's the Law of Exponential Increase.
But, there are people in your life... they may be the inspiration for other people, but they're not the inspiration for you.
For you just to interact with them, it requires for you to just sink all of your energy and all of your time and all of your time into just this one person, just to be able to have basic, steady interaction with them.
Things that between you and other people come very naturally and very easily, but between you and this one person, it's like (growls) I've got to sink all this energy just to have even a little bit of normal conversation with them.
And they may be inspirational for other people, so don't think that you're leaving them in the dust or anything, because you're not!
But, they're not inspirational for you.
You need to be able to let those people go in order to create new relationships in your life.
The truth is, some of us are able to have many, many, many close and good friends, some of us are able to have many, many light and casual friends, some of us only have a few, medium number of friends, and some of us really only get along with five people in the world, and if we get rid of one person, we might replace them with another, but we don't really ever have more than five friends in the world.
Whatever kind of person you are, however many people you attract into your life, that's going to tend to be the pattern that you stay on for the rest of your life.
Depending upon how deep you like to go with your relationships with people and depending upon how many people you enjoy having in your life, that number is going to pretty much stay the same.
So, if you want to have higher quality and better relationships in your life, you have to be able to and willing to get rid of some of the relationships that you have now.
Now, you don't have to get rid of everybody.
But, you should kind of sit down and think about, Hmm, is there anybody who I think is just not up to snuff? Is there anybody in my life who I'd kind of like to just get rid of?
If there are people in your life who you really want to just get rid of, you really don't want to have in your life, My God, make those people go out of your life First!
Get rid of those people first.
And you don't have to push them away.
Now if you want to push them away, go ahead and do it.
Sometimes, it's helpful to just allow them to float out of your life.
Sometimes, it's not a matter of saying "Ah! I'm not going to talk to you anymore! I don't want to be friends with you anymore!"
Sometimes, it's a matter of "Oh! I'm just going to allow this person to leave my life. They're no longer in line with my energy. I'm going to allow them to just drift away."
So, whatever method...
I tend to be the kind of person who cuts people off and just karate chops them out of my life or I am the kind of person who specifically tells them, "I don't want you in my life because I don't like you, anymore. Go away."
That's the kind of person I am.
There have been times when I needed to use the Allowance, the Allowing That Person to Leave organically, naturally, and smoothly.
And there were times when I needed to use that tool, and there are people who feel better only using that tool.
Just know that there are many ways of getting rid of people.
There are many different methods and techniques of allowing people to leave your life so that you can replace them with higher quality and newer and better and stronger people, better relationships, interactions with people that make you feel so powerful and good and strong and vibrant and new again.
So, it's important to always have those possibilities in your life.
Just know that, it's not that you're lacking time and it's not that you're lacking the resources or ability to fill your life with new and better people, it tends to be the fact that everyone tends to have only a certain number of people that they keep in their world.
Some people have a large number, some people have a medium number, and some people only have one or two or five people in their life that they want to be close to.
Well, that's fine.
Just know that that number tends to stay the same, no matter what, for long periods of time in your life.
So, if you're looking to have new and better relationships, you have to be willing to and able to allow some of your current relationships to kind of drift away from you, or to just go ahead and forcefully push them out of your life.
You have to be able to do it and you have to be willing to do it.
Now, if you're not financially able to do it, if you're not emotionally able to do it, I understand.
That's understandable, that's completely understandable.
But, if you're in a position where you really have the resources and the ability to get rid of them, and you know that this is not the kind of person I want. I want higher quality or more meaningful people in my life... you're going to have to get rid of those people in order to make The Vacuum Law of Prosperity work for you and bring in new people, because it's not very likely that you're going to grow the number of people that you know and interact with.
That is not very likely.
It is more likely that you're going to just replace the people that you have or some of the people that you have.
So, when we're looking at romance, you have to allow room and space for romance.
Now, you may not be in the position where you have to get rid of old romance in order to make room for new romance.
You may not have had romance in your life.
You may have to get rid of a habit of casual, sexual behavior in order to make room for romance in that state.
You might have to do that.
But, if you've never had a boyfriend or girlfriend, if you've never been in a long-term relationship, you may be in the position where making room....
Or maybe you've been divorced for several years and you just haven't had a significant other. Maybe you're not close with your children, and you don't have any best friends of the opposite sex, and so you don't really have somebody who's kind of standing in for the need that you have for a romantic partner.
Now, if you do have one of those things. If you either have grown children that you're close with, or you have a best friend of the opposite sex that you love having deep, meaningful conversations with or you have a lot of interaction and time with, well then they may be standing in for your romantic partner, and you may have to allow those people to go in order to make room for your romantic partner.
But, if you're not in any of those situations, you may need to just allow space to be taken up in your life.
If you go out and get a romantic partner and you're enjoying them and everything, you may need to understand that having them in your life means that they will take up time and they will take up space in your world, and you need to allow that to happen.
If you don't have anybody else who you're moving out of your life or that you're becoming more distant with in order to bring in your romantic partner, if that's not the case with you, if you're just now wanting to bring in a romantic partner, you may be in a position where bringing them in themselves involves allowing that person to take up more of your time and allowing them to take up more of your space.
And guys, that's going to be kind of scary.
If you haven't had somebody romantically in your life for a long time, and you're not replacing other people with them, then you may be kind of used to being alone, you may be used to having more contracting energy or more limited energy than you currently have.
Relationships are difficult, especially in the beginning.
Now, they don't tend to always be difficult after a certain number of years, but in the beginning, when people are just learning to figure each other out and learning each other's patterns of growth and how soon you can expect that person to grow into a new level of awareness and self development, things like that, that are tricky, that are complicated.
There needs to be a TON of communication, and hey, I'm not the biggest person on communication when it comes to talking to people. But, in recent years, I've become that kind of person, because I've had to be!
For me to have the relationships in my life that I want to have, I've had to all of a sudden become WAY more vocal than I ever was before!
So, that was definitely a factor for me. That was something that I needed to always be aware of within myself that I don't naturally have the inclination to be really vocal and really expressive, conversationally.
And I need to practice it like I would practice the piano, over and over and over again.
I need to get to where I not only get really good at it, but it's very comfortable for me.
Because things that I'm comfortable at, yeah, we're all going to tend to do those things more often.
So, the world around is so amazing and so full of possibilities of travel and homes and people and new experiences, but you have to be willing to allow the Vacuum Law of Prosperity to work for you.
You have to allow The Vacuum Law of Prosperity to work for you.
You have to be willing to sometimes replace what you currently have with the new stuff, and that's a little scary, because especially if you really need somebody in your life, if you're the kind of person who is a little bit codependent, a little bit needy, That's Okay!
That's okay to be that kind of person. But, if you're that kind of person, getting rid of a romantic partner or somebody else in your life who you normally emotionally rely upon, getting rid of that person, not having anybody else in your world to take their place yet, that's kind of a scary thought right there!
If you really want that new home and you want to have the ability to have a new home, getting rid of your current home that you're kind of comfortable in, you feel at ease in, and you kind of don't want to change that much, oh, getting rid of your current home can be SOOO scary.
The same thing applies with traveling experiences. If you're used to traveling around your state or your country or your area, and you're not used to traveling outside of your country and you're not used to traveling to the other side of the world, or something like that, oh man! Replacing your current location with a new location, that's Scary as Hell!
I mean, speaking as someone who has experienced a lot of culture shock in her life, culture shock is a scary ass thing!
It is Scary as FUCK!
And it's not just because you're in a different culture and so you're scared, we're not just talking about that, we're talking about the level of discomfort is so freaking high!
Because you are not in anything that you're familiar with.
Let me tell you about my First culture shock.
My very first culture shock was just spent in....
I live in Texas, in the United States.
And I was traveling to a different city in Texas, and I know all the cities in Texas, because I'm really well traveled in Texas and in the United States, just not as much in the world.
But, in Texas, there's another city, and I was traveling to that city, and I staid a weekend with a Vietnamese family.
A Vietnamese family who only spoke a little bit of English.
And they were having a family reunion that weekend, the weekend that I was going.
And, they ignored me!
They ignored me and spoke Vietnamese the whole fucking weekend!
And they were nice to me! Ohh, they fed me well and they made sure I was entertained and they tried to make sure that I had what I needed, but they didn't sink all of their time and energy into trying to speak simple English with me. They sunk their time and energy into interacting with each other!
Speaking in Vietnamese!
It was the first time that I had to make sure to take off my shoes before I went into the house!
They had perfect, plush, white carpet!
And it is in the Vietnamese culture to not walk through the house with your shoes on!
It's also European.
But, it's not American.
Well, they're American now, so I can't say that.
But, it's not in my culture. It's not in the culture that I grew up in. In the culture that I grew up in, we all walk around with our shoes on in the house.
Just all of these changes, all of these possibilities, it was just so uncomfortable! And the thing is, I was only gone for a weekend! I mean, that was it! I was gone for a weekend!
And yet, I got back to the city I was living in at that time, I took the bus back to the city I was living in at the time, and I was so happy to see McDonald's!
I was like, Oh! Thank God for McDonald's!
Now, I'm not one of those people who puts down fast food joints or anything like that.
I don't put things down like that. To me, fast food joints have their place in society. And, I enjoy fast food, myself! So, I don't think of that stuff as being junk food. I just think of it as being cheaper food and faster food, but not junk food.
But, I never understood how much I valued my own cultural norms until I was pulled out of them for just three days! I mean, we're talking about just three days. Just a weekend.
That was it.
But those three days were some of the emotionally most.... so straining on my emotionality and so straining on my emotional capabilities that it was just Whew! it was so, so stressful!
So, guys, when you're making room and space for love in your life and for family and for connections in your life, you have to understand that that's going to involve you being really open to sometimes replacing what you currently have with the new thing and the new objects and the new people and the new experiences and the new homes.
And guys, that's just not going to be comfortable, and you have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
You have to have a certain level of comfort with discomfort.
You have to be willing to have discomfort in order to experience new things and thus expand yourself!
Hey! Expanding yourself is worth it! It's so worth it! I love expanding myself! And so I'm in the habit of being willing to put up with a hell of a lot in order to get that done.
Okay, now I'm nearing the end of this video and I'm going to go over to the kitty, and I'm going to introduce you to Oakley.
This is a family cat and he is so, so sweet, and we all love him very, very much.
Okay, here we go....
Okay, say Hello to everyone, Oakley!
Say Hello to everyone.
This is Oakley the cat, and he is very black, as you see, and he is very lovable and he's very warm and soft and he's really amazing.
So, I wanted to introduce you guys to Oakley the cat.
Guys, I hope you have a wonderful day, and I hope this video was helpful to you, but please subscribe below. Please subscribe below and Like the video. I want to hear your comments. I want to hear your personal insights into making space and making room in your life and using The Vacuum Law of Prosperity to get the people that you want and the relationships that you want.
Thank you so much, guys!